Page 1

It's a little after seven on a Monday morning, and you've been awake all night studying for that killer Creative Actor midterm. The test isn't until noon, which you figure leaves you about another five hours to study in Tilton. You decide to hit the Food Service for some Irish Mist coffee and a hard bagel. Your breakfast doesn't fit into your meal plan (the bastards), so you pay the charming woman in cash.

 As you walk over to the concourse, you trip on your own shoelace and spill your coffee all over yourself. It's gonna be one of those days, you can tell already.

 As you place the empty cup on the info desk, the phone rings. There's no one else around-- the UC manager is (as usual) delinquent in his duties-- and so being the Good Samaritan that you are, you answer the phone.

 "Mary Alice Higgins University Center... How may I be of assistance?" you say.

 "Mary Alice what?! Look see, you're just the putz I've been looking for. I have an important message for you, big fella!" says an angry, tired voice that bares more then a passing resemblance to Dennis Hopper.

 Your heart jumps at the thought that you have the opportunity to do something important for your great University. You ask him to hold on as you grab a pen and paper out of your bookbag, realizing that your mind-- cluttered with creative actor facts and graphs-- could not withstand any added verbiage.

Turn to Page 3.