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"Okay! I got a pen! What do you need?"
"Oh, you're such a moron... well, you listen and listen good... no, that should be well. I have attached a megaton of hydrometallic butane to Maywood Hall and it's set to blow if I so much as look at it funny!" He doesn't sound like he's playing around. You have friends in Maywood, so naturally you're worried.
"I have friends in Maywood, so naturally I'm worried! Disarm that bomb now, buster, or I'll come down there and do it for you!"
"Yeah try this on for size, tough guy! If you so much as think about setting foot outside of that building, the whole thing will blow like a cheap hooker!"
"Oh no! You can't be serious!" The scary thing is, it sounds like he is serious, and the thought shakes you to your very foundation.
"Now the rules are like this, see:
(1) you can't leave the building between now and closing time, for any reason;
(b) you tell no one about this at any time, and finally,
(iii) you must not eat any bananas after eleven am!
Any questions?"
"Yeah, um, what time does the UC close on Mondays?"
"I don't know. You're the one standing at the info desk!"
How did he know you like bananas? What will be your potassium source all afternoon?
"Have a nice day, sucker! Oh by the way, do you know what CUFS is showing tonight?" You reach over to grab ClarkWeek, but by then he's hung up. Already, he has you right where he/she/it wants you.